Graham : I’ve never understood the thing that Morgan Freeman said to you.
Jonah : Oh, so this was about 10 years ago, I did a film with Morgan Freeman, a really small film, and the first ten minutes of the film are just us driving together in a car, and talking, and it took three days to shoot and he didn’t talk to me the entire time. Like, in between takes, right ? Cause he had so much dialogue to learn, right ? So in between we wouldn’t really chat, but we were in a car together for three days…
if lucifer needs someones consent to enter their body then so do you
"what does your tattoo mean?"
It means I wanted it so I fucking got it
parents when they can’t get a hold of you: “i called TWICE AND YOU DIDN’T PICK UP”
me when i can’t get a hold of my parents: “I BROKE MY LEG. I CALLED UR CELL 11 TIMES, UR WORK PHONE 7 TIMES, AND SENT YOU 23 TEXTS, AND NO RESPONSE”
my parents: “wow sorry i was busy”
In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:
- Public speaking
- Not being afraid of teenagers
- Calling the doctor yourself
- Arguing without crying
- Having a normal sleep pattern
- Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’